Write in Kin & Ring it in

What if it was all just a big misunderstanding? Like a really BIG one (albeit subtle). Quite the understatement you might say, in light of all human pain, warfare, fear and uncertainty.  Build a wall? We need a bridge, to Bridge THE Great BIG Misunderstanding.

Countries are racing to de-dollarize and if we want to remain relevant on the world stage AND thrive at home we need money that doesn’t rot with inflation. The Digital Gold Standard under the Honest Abe Act will undue the wrongs of Richard “Tricky Dicky” Nixon.

I legally changed my name Kin, just Kin – think Cher or Prince – no last name, for this express purpose to win on the write in. Just write Kin on the ballot. And if my name ain’t Garett Thomas Laugavitz Paine, you’re gonna see some common sense action outta Washington when I’m posted up, with rather uncommon ingenuity to boot. Who am I..?

You don’t need another billionaire in office, you want a poet-skater-marketer-tenor millennial with audacity,  someone who can get everyone singing Happy Birthday in tune.

I once gave soup to the Soup Nazi (Seinfeld), won a staring contest with a leopard deep in the bush of Botswana and can blow spit bubbles and catch them. OK, the lie is they’re all true.

I’m holding gumbo nights around the country as I walk for office on foot, train and scooter. We’re gonna restore civility over a meal and make the greatest gumbo ever told. 

My marketing work sold $8,000 trash cans to Donald Trump, and I don’t even believe in garbage. All I see are resources. They were outdoor furnishings for his golf courses made of recycled milk jugs. I will turn trash into treasure, trap carbon emissions and ween us off this disposable lifestyle.

Imagine if teachers didn’t have to do 3 jobs: curriculum, teaching and grading but could focus on teaching. We will build a wiki-curriculum, an open source repository of teaching guides and tools that can be adapted and influenced by parents as well. We have the technology to partly automate grading now as well freeing up their precious time for “meeting students where they’re at” and finding ways to stoke their imaginations around what already interests them. Finally, education at large needs to take a page out of the startup playbook and think MVP – minimum viable products. We will enable ways to apply weekly and monthly assignments into paid work, “School Work” effectively paying kids to learn and adding to the GDP rather than costing more money. Money doesn’t solve problems, industry does.

The USPS falls under the auspices of the Executive Branch hence my first executive order: dMail, a digital-physical postal service that will solve the “tragedy of the commons” problem of SPAM email while 10x’ing value for recipients. ‘Free’ was the fatal flaw of email. dMail imposes digital postage on commercial senders while giving consumers the option to have documents printed and shipped on-demand, same-day or even on the hour. dMail is the backbone of a radical new vision I call dCommerce. With trusted printing and decentralizing the mail, we could cut carbon emissions dramatically. We aren’t automating away jobs either. The USPS will go from the 3rd largest employer to the 1st in a gig economy fashion that protects workers and supercharges the economy. 

Currently, lawmaking is a meat grinder in a dimly lit storeroom with a rodent problem.

Kin’s policy, the GET OUR ACT TOGETHER ACT will create a seamless version control system for new bills with responsive “compressable text” and audio snippets for lawmakers to actually digest what they’re signing into law. No more reams of paper for Senators to “cram” like it’s the night before semester finals.

The FDA didn’t even get bottled water right. Great, there’s microplastics in all of us, bravo boys. Did you know the FDA regulates cheese pizza but not pepperoni? Howsa bout we move the F to the end of the USDA to make it US Department of Awesome Food (USDAF). The NEW Smart Drug Administration will safely streamline lifesaving therapies as the status quo bureaucracy is killing people with inaction. This is a time to focus.

Reagan said, “It’s the economy stupid” and here today in the information age “it’s the data dummy.” Seven years ago the Economist magazine declared “Data is the New Oil” yet we give it away wholesale to Big Tech. We’re going from tracking Cookies to Baking M.U.F.F.I.N.S. which are Monetized User-Focused Feedback Information Systems that users get paid for if they decide to sell their data, helping marketers help themselves by capturing their valuable input alongside behaviors to improve their products and services.